Naruto Noir
by TheGreatHibiki
Summary: Meet 'The Fox', Private Eye, War Veteran, and Best Seller. Meet Naruto Uzumaki, writer of 'The Fox' Detective Series, A Series now hitting very close to home. When a friend disappears both in his story and in real life, Reality and Fiction begin to blur.


How did this all start, he wondered, wincing at the sounds of the metal death ripping away at his cover, little by little.

Oh yeah...

Her.

010101

Chapter One: The Case.

_Three Months Prior._

It was one of those dark nights that always seemed to start these sort of stories, wet and ominous. He had just made it back to his office after a run of nickle and dime capers that would keep the lights on and food in his belly, if only for a few days. He had just poured a finger of his usual watered down mix when a knock interrupted hm.

"Wadda want?" He called out to the figure showing through his frosted glass window, it's wobbling sheen doing nothing to hide the figure behind it. The door knob turned and slim non-calloused fingers slipped through the gap, pushing his old creaking door open giving him his first glimpse of the woman who would change his life so much.

Her legs went for miles, leading upwards to a place only men could hope to dream of. Wide hips and a slender waist giving up to a bountiful chest pronouncing her the often desired hourglass figure. Truly a body of a goddess that not even her wet coat could hide. A lone crystal of sapphire lanced from a pale flawless face and flaxen hair that despite it's wet state bounced as she sashayed over to his desk. Ruby lips, perfectly pouting, looked more like they should be grinning a devil's smirk than the flat almost cold line, and thus were the only thing dashing her otherwise beautiful countenance.

"Are you the detective they call, 'The Fox'?" Melodic tilts were unbidden in her voice, he noted. A singer, perhaps. Ah a voice like that pulls a man's thoughts towards how she'd sound between the sheets. Truly a temptress had walked in. Standing, he tilted his head and gestured to the seat before his worn desk, waiting until she sat before retaking his seat. He did have some sense of propriety, most wouldn't believe it, in fact his mentors probably would have laughed in his face. The thought brought a small chuckle from him, the Goldie Locks before him's eyes narrowed a little and he hid his humor in a subdued taste of the amber shot he had poured before she walked in. Once his humor, and the horrible taste of the mostly water drink had cleared his system he offered his hand accepting her left unsullied one, noting not even the hint of a ring, something he found odd, given her looks. Soft yet strong hands felt almost wrong to be touched by his well calloused one and soon his retreated back to the safe harbor around his glass, fingering it trying to wash away the tingle such hands had produced without looking nervous.

"Care for a drink, Ms...?" He trailed off allowing her to supply him with a name.

"Yamanaka. Yamanaka Ino. And no, no thank you." Yamanaka. Images of whizzing steel and exploding notes filled his head, a man whose green eyes seem to glow. Old war buddy, last time he had seen him was the march back home, images of a young woman, heh, the very one before him even, and his wife waiting for him. It was an odd feeling to realize you had been ogling the daughter of one of the men you had served with.

"Inoichi's girl." Seemed odd talking about her like she was merely a child, despite them being the same age. "How is the old fool?"

"Since mother died, focused on his work." Damn. He hadn't known about that. Of course he had lost contact with a lot of the men from his unit and had met during the war, them returning to families and their jobs, he had gone into that war a child and come out a man, and had been swept away with so few anchors in his life. Bah, he was getting sidetracked now. Must be getting senile in his old age.

"I'm sorry for your loss. I didn't know." He was genuinely saddened to hear. Hell Hearing Inoichi going on and on about his wife and daughter during their time in the trenches always made him smile. Like a little slice of back home anytime the man got a letter or reminisced.

"I thank you for your kindness. But that is not why I am here." She composed herself, taking a small breath before looking at him. "My fiance has gone missing, you might remember him form our graduating class, his name is Nara Shikamaru. He works for my father." Hn... Damn a fiance, sounds a little fishy, no ring and all, but some folks still do it the old fashioned way. Yeah he remembered Nara, lazy ass sort, kept his hair in some weird manner. Worked in Intelligence, made sense, guy was a genius. He leaned forward.

"Tell me more, and I'll see if it's worth my time." A classic way of saying he was hooked. Well hooked on her, not so much the case but... Oh well.

010101

She was claiming that her fiance, one Nara Shikamaru, had disappeared just before the debut of Ms. Yamanaka's career in the upper town club, The Golden Leaf, just opening after some serious remodeling and a change of hands. Four blocks away almost dead center from his apartment, the local law enforcement had been called as a trash collector came across a few of his belongings shoved haphazardly in a trash bin, a small smattering of blood on the lid. That was a week ago, and the police had nothing. The Intel people had their own crew out looking as well. Nara apparently had been working on something hot, and just like any tidbit, anybody would want what they could take, so foul play hadn't been considered just yet. But with both agencies stalled, the trail of this missing fiance was growing cold, Ms. Yamanaka was getting desperate. Inoichi, the Intelligence officer could go no further on his end, had heard of his old trench mate had gone into the Private Eye gig.

"Some things aren't adding up." He finally remarked, his bored look concealing an intense stare for any signs of distress on her part. If she was hiding something, she was one cool customer. "Given his job, he would know of the grid." And it was true, if it wasn't for his nature and his abilities that gave him his nickname, he wouldn't know of the sensor grid that painted nearly every little nook and cranny of this metropolis either. Any minute blip in chakra, if non authorized, was monitored, recorded and punished. Be it fine, imprisonment, exile, or summarily executed, the returning men and women of the last war were carefully watched for any instability brought on by the traumas they had endured. Infractions against the considered norm were met with harsh penalties, but for the good of the city, which had become the center of life in the fire country, it was a necessary evil. One many war vets had either embraced or like him, rejected. The Private Eye line of work allowed him some leniency for any infractions he might pile up, and allowed him the freedom to... be who he had become.

"It's one of the Intelligence Agency's main concerns, he could have flashed his chakra and alerted someone. A patrol was only a block away. It could only mean two things, one he didn't see it coming..."

"Or he didn't stop it from happening." He finished. His hands, fingers scissored, were folded, hiding his mouth as he digested the facts given to him by the sonsy figure sitting in his old creaky chair, so still the old grimy chair bolts didn't creak once. The fact she didn't budge at all at her supposed fiance's possible treason and betrayal either meant she didn't believe it, most people would flinch even if they didn't... or...

She didn't care. The case alone was unique, the person bringing it to his table was just as much, the facts just being a little off were alarming and yet so very fascinating that it was no wonder it was driving the law nuts. It was bugging him. The urge to look into this to find out the facts, the inquisitiveness in his very blood and mind drove him to take this case. Then she dropped the finisher.

"I am willing to pay A to S daily pay for this until you find him... or his b-body." Well there was finally a break in that cold exterior.

"Add in payment of any medical bills and we have a deal?" He replied smoothly. For the first time Ms. Yamanaka's eyes blinked in confusion.

"Why would you be needing...?" She trailed off, curious, as he leaned in with a slightly self satisfied smirk at seeing her confused, it was a hell of a lot cuter than that cool frozen expression she had been wearing before..

"Because in my line of work, any job that needs A or S rank pay probably needs S medical services." He leaned back, hands behind his neck as he eyed her, waiting for her response with a smile much like his namesake.

010101

Naruto sat back from his typewriter, popping his neck and looking over at his muse for the latest addition, the prequel that is, of the best-selling 'Tales of the Fox' detective novels he had been writing. Ino stood, her rather generous bosom pushing upon his back, as she read over his shoulder.

"Wow... I sound... HOT!" Naruto rolled his eyes a little, trying to ignore the feel of her firmer than looking dirty pillows shoved against him, and the feel of her soft hands playing with the odd strand of hair on the nape of his neck was rather distracting. Honestly the girl didn't know how hot she was? "But what's this about me being all cold and engaged to Shikamaru?"

"Well I ad-lib in a few things a little here and there, but it's all gonna change when I begin writing for real though. Like I can't really use your name, your dad's name, and the Golden Leaf. I'm gonna have to spend days going through it changing the names and then fixing up the grammar and such, but as an opening for my next novel, how do you like it?" Ino's cheeky grin was enough response to know she was thrilled.

A few hours later, after getting a few ideas of Ino's alter ego by talking with her, he waved her off and sat down back at his type writer. He paused a moment, remembering the moment he first started looking at doing writing seriously. A small smile tweaked his lips as he glanced over at a small dogeared photograph of him and his mentor.

010101

"_Oi Naruto, just let me do my research in peace." The white haired man groaned as Naruto's fist met his head._

"_You never try and teach me anything new, Ero-sennin! All you do is watch girls! I'm sick of it! How am I suppose to get better and catch Sasuke otherwise?"_

"_I watch people Naruto... not just girls." The older man looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know what? Come here. I'll teach you something." Naruto's eyes widened then he smiled._

"_Really? Yatta! So what is it gonna be? A super awesome jutsu? A sealing technique that will allow me to fly?" Naruto's hopes soared._

"_Reading people." And promptly crashed._

"_Reading people?" Naruto looked skeptical."What's that gonna do to help me capture Sasuke?" Jiraiya sighed before pulling Naruto down to his level_

"_Humor me for a moment. Now use these and take a look at the girl in the yellow bikini." Naruto raised an eyebrow, then looked through the proffered spyglass to view the rather demure but stacked brunette in the yellow spaghetti-strapped bikini."Now what can you tell from her?" Naruto looked at her for a moment._

"_She has on a yellow bikini that seems a little small for her up top... and she doesn't look like she's comfortable." Jiraiya nodded a few times before opening his eyes and looking at Naruto._

"_Mm-hmm Mm-hmm... Pathetic." Naruto at once took offense._

"_What do you mean pathetic?" The blonde growled out._

"_What do you think I mean. You took her at face value without looking underneath the underneath." Naruto, hearing those classic words stopped short any tirade he was working himself into. "In my youth..." He ignored Naruto grumbling about how long ago that was. "...I came across an old book from the time before the Rikudo Sennin. The Toad Elder had it tucked away in the Library at __Myōbokuzan. It was a tale of a man who used every detail he saw to understand the world to such a point he could solve a mystery before he even knew it was a mystery! His ability struck me as such I spent years refining it and that is what I will teach you._

_So... Allow me to show you... when look at her I see a young woman, recently divorced by the paleness of her ring finger, a small scar at her lower abdomen denotes a troubled pregnancy and c-section, given the nature of her... hehe.. assets it was probably about a year ago when she gave birth. The shy nature she gives off means her husband probably left her, and the way she covers her stomach it's either about the scar, or some notion she is fat, probably insinuated by said husband. The Bikini is a ego purchase, probably pushed on her by her friends to try and show to her that she is still attractive. Notice how close the friends are around her. Put it all together." Naruto blinked at the information his mentor had gleamed from just watching the five girls enjoy the cool water._

"_She's just come out of a bad relationship and her friends are trying to cheer her up by seeing if any guys come checking her out but at the same time trying to keep her from getting hurt?" Jiraiya nodded again._

"_Much better."_

"_But how do you know if you're right?" Jiraiya smiled, a little lecherously._

"_That's easy, for you anyway." With a shove, Naruto was flung forward. "Go have fun."_

"_ERO-SENNIN!" Jiraiya chuckled at the red face of his pupil as he landed in the water in front of the girls._

010101

Megumi and her son had sent him a letter recently, he really did need to respond back to them, it had been a while since they had last heard from him. However it was among the clutter that had taken his office desk from the man, and he just wasn't up to tackling that project right then. Actually a nice warm bowl of Ichiraku's sounded about right for such a wet evening. He went for his coat.

010101

Chapter Two: The missing Nara.

The scene, and what little evidence remained, had been combed through and then washed away by last night's rain. It should have been impossible for anyone to find any sort of clues from the dingy muddy alleyway that had played host to Nara's capture, but then The Fox wasn't just anyone. Standing from the street, he watched in his minds eye several versions of events that could have happened. Every end result was different and as one part clicked into place with the evidence and clues he had been given in the police report he began constructing the trip Nara had taken. At 5:41 he left the apartment. In his possession were flowers, a dozen red roses, apparently for Yamanaka's debut, all seemed normal. At around 5:45, he stopped at a liquor store to buy a bottle of Ta no Kuni's finest. At around 5:50 he turned past the patrol mentioned by Yamanaka. It was here that he just up and vanished estimated time 5:51 to 5:52. Not one blip on the network chakra wise so The Fox's senses looked for other means of subduing a person trained like Nara had been.

A blow to the back of the head would work, and the smear of blood on the trash lid would support it, but then even in the few brief seconds before the attack hit, a man who had the abilities supported by Nara's file should have been able to release even a minute amount of chakra, easily more than enough for the network to capture it. So not just a blow to the head. That was the second part of the attack. No... The third.

First Action: A reason to make him turn into the alley. Still unknown and not important... yet anyway. Second Action: Something needed to happen to him to keep the man from sending out for help. Faint traces of a as of yet unknown sedative were found in the blood smear. The amount was considered to be relative to a single capsule of pain reliever and dropped by the law enforcement forensics. However if that was the amount from a fast acting toxin, something delivered the the back of the neck directly into the vein, the substance would have reached his brain and impaired him almost instantly. Third Action, the blow to the head, only trace amounts of the substance would have reached that location in such a short amount of time. The blow would have rendered the by then dazed and influenced Nara unconscious. All of this must have been done almost withing moments of one another.

Necessary requirement: Proof. The Fox closed his eyes trying to view the moment. Three assailants, estimated by tracks found in the alleyway, picking up Nara. Harsher imprints near the back left fire escape. People would look there. Where would they not.

Looking up and to the right on the closest fire escape to the street he found a small red flume of feathers rolling about in the early morning breeze.

Jackpot.

[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!]

010101

Looking up from his typewriter Naruto blinked at the sound coming from his door. Eying his half working clock he estimated it was about eleven at night. The sounds came again, just as urgently as they had before. Realizing the level of force to produce such a loud knock and the lack of time between raps he made haste to the door, and promptly almost lost his head from a delicate but by no means gentle fist.

Panting and flushed from exertion Ino held herself up by willpower and his door frame alone, the panic look in her eyes showing everything.

"What's wrong?" He asked helping her inside and sitting her on the couch. He moved to his small kitchen and poured her a glass of water. He made it half way to her before she finally spoke.

"Shikamaru is missing. He was suppose to show up at my house but never made it. ANBU found a spray of kunai and his bloody jacket in an alleyway a few blocks away from here!" The glass slipped from his hands, spilling water across his feet. "Please Naruto, you're novels are a lot like this, maybe you can help!" The similarities at once struck him, and he quickly glanced at the title of the chapter he had just stepped away from.

The Missing Nara.

His stomach plummeted.

010101

Naruto Noir: Chapter One: Private Eye

By

Hibiki

Naruto is owned by Kishimoto. I'm just using them for lack of a better medium at the moment.

010101

I lost EVERYTHING. My hard drive finally died the worst way. Completely. All Ten Years of my stuff, writing, music, videos all of it. Now with a new Hard Drive and only the barest of saved items from a work computer, I am having to start again on MANY plots and plot ideas. As I absolutely despise rewriting things, I have decided to redo all of my fictions that I had currently been working on on a case by case scenario. Mostly picking up from where I stopped last chapter, and going on without a clue where I wanted to go. Others, this will bring a fresh breath of air to them, and I might be able to get started working on them. Others, it will probably be the death of them as I cannot remember where I wanted to go with them at ALL. As such, keep in mind most ideas will subtly change unless I have a FIRM grasp on the story.

What pisses me off was my hundred page Harry Potter/Star Trek Crossover (It read better than it sounded, trust me) that was so interesting is GONE. No Red Shirts at Hogwarts. No back up. GONE. The technobabble is GONE~! I was only on chapter ten but the information I had on it was so COMPLEX! I shoulda started posting it. GODDAMMIT!


End file.
